Years ago, I was shaken to my very soul.
I started out life as adventurous, fearless and most certainly foolish. Then one day, I was just plain foolish. Wasting my life, ignoring my passions, and coasting through life. Keeping my head down and trying to blend in with those around me.
Then I got sick. Real sick. 5 days of vomiting, minute by minute swings from bone chilling cold to flop sweat, unable to speak or hear others speak without getting nauseous. So I sat in silence, watching the clock, just wanting the pain to go away.
I saw several doctors and had my stomach probed. They found nothing wrong.
I recovered and then 3 months later, it happened again. And 3 months later, again. Each time, 5 days of hiding in my bedroom, feeling horrible.
More tests, more probes that found nothing. My body was failing and nobody knew why.
Their conclusion, "Something ... serious ... might be wrong with you." That shook me to my core.
So I sat for a long time staring at myself in the mirror. My mortality staring back.
I kept thinking, "If I died tomorrow, would it matter?"
My kids would be sad for a while, but they would move on with their lives and remember their Dad being weak and sick all the time.
My friends would miss me for a while, but how did I ever improve their lives? Would they have been better off never knowing me?
My company would hire someone to replace me and life would go on. Without me. And eventually, nobody would care that I was ever here.
I couldn't stop feeling like I was a waste. A wasted man. A wasted father. A wasted friend.
I remember the morning when all my failures came crashing down on me. With tears rolling down my cheeks, I walked outside with my faithful Pug. Her silliness lightened my mood and made me smile. I inhaled deeply and could smell the freshly bloomed Jasmine in the air.
I looked to the sky with the warm sun on my cheeks and said out loud, "But I am still here. There is strength in me yet. My journey is not yet over and my story is not yet written."
That was the moment that everything changed. I took steps to get healthier. I started eating better and stopped drinking any liquor. I started moving my body and started moving my mind. I didn't know what direction my life was going, but I knew I needed to be willing to change anything and everything that didn't serve me. I took small steps. And then more small steps, gathering momentum.
I took a deep dive into every aspect of living a great life.
One of my greatest skills is pattern recognition. I can digest huge amounts of data and identify trends, outliers and common ideas. I read all the books I could find on subjects from Health to Happiness, from Motivation to Living your best life.
I Wondered, could I bring the best ideas forward and present it all in an understandable framework/system.
A Primer. The key to unlock it all.
I asked myself, "Why not?"
Why not go for it?
Why not change everything?
What am I afraid of?
What am I holding on to?
So I stopped watching TV - Football!
I went back and did the assignments.
And that changed everything.
Losing Bump opened new space in my life and heart.
Still have my Bump doll.
"I miss you, old friend."
"By by working on these lessons, I was able to work through the pain and loss. So I know they work!"
I used my DB/Analytical/Science family experience to create an application that helped define all of the 3's
I used Parkinson's Law to find the 20% or top 3 that was mentioned 80% of the time.
I wrote a comparison algorithm. I tried grouping 2- 5 groups, but 3 consistently worked better. So I began to trust the 3!