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Bucket Life

Turn your bucket list into a Bucket Life!

Why I Celebrate my ex-Wife...

greyson

As some of you know, I'm separating from my wife of 12 years  

It would be so easy to fill these days with meanness, a trap I've seen too many couples fall into

There are two main reasons I don't:

1.  We were friends for years before we were married and her friendship is worth fighting for

2.  We have kids

 

Criticizing her is criticizing my decision to marry her

I don't regret marrying her.  Not a bit.  One of the best decisions I've ever made

We've just grown too far apart to pull back together

Still she knows, and my kids know, if they need anything ever and I can help, it's done.  No question

 

Celebrating her is celebrating my decision to marry her when I did.  It was a great decision.  I would do it all over again

I made two great decisions in my life.  One to propose to her.  And I think I (we) made a great decision to go our separate ways

 

Still, I need to always keep in mind that her happiness on her new path directly affects my children.  So I must actively look for ways to celebrate her

Is it hard?  Some days are harder than others.  Some days I really want to hate her, I want to cuss her name, I want her to hurt for not loving me anymore

But I don't.  Because I don't

I don't hate her

I don't let anyone else cuss her name, so I don't let myself

I don't want anyone to hurt her

 

There was a time when we were so right for each other, many years of rightness.  But we're not right for each other anymore.  And that's ok.  Painful, sucky, but ok.  How we separate is now up to us

 

As much as I want to yell and scream and feel hurt, the most important thing is how my kids are raised. Period.

50% of their time is spent with their mom.  That time needs to be happy, and supportive, and positive

If she's strong and amazing as an influence in my kids' lives, then I win

Me throwing hate at her or on our past only hurts my kids.  And it's only the past I would be fighting.  My time with her is over.  We have different paths to explore in the future.  All I have with her is the present, the now, the today

So, for my kids, myself and my old friend, I make a choice everyday to actively support and celebrate her happiness

-g

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Bucket Life by Greyson Hawe is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.